Last year when I attended Ben’s work function I drank approximately 10 litres of free booze. I danced like a crazy chicken to terrible DJ music, and had many deep and meaningful conversations with people I had know for only two hours.
By the end of the night my phone was full of life-long friends like ‘weird red-head’ ‘jo’s friend’ ‘sum chick’ and others. I had decided to throw a party. A giant party. Full of all my new friends. Then I went home and threw up. All night.
And then? In the morning? At 7am? I got up and went to work. I threw up until mid day in the bathrooms and tried to become invisible behind my stupid tidy desk.
This year when Ben asked me if I wanted to tag along again (I probably wouldn’t have asked me again) I decided to limit my intake of the free booze. I decided not to limit my intake of the free food though. (Because free is still free people.)
I decided on FOUR drinks (of the same beverage – no crazy mixing) for my night out – because I am a ridiculously cheap drunk. And you know what? I totally stuck to it.
I still had fun. I spoke to people I still don’t know the names of, and had in depth conversations like “Who wants to take nakie pictures on Nicks camera?” (I got a belly button and a tattoo.) I took Ben for a walk on the water front and embarrassed the fuck out of him by dancing to the waterwhirler. I ate some pretty okay food. And I learnt all about rolling a cigarette, and storing things in my bra. It was great.
And you know what the best thing was? No killer hangover.