Boy do I have an offer for you.
Andy offered (sort of) to break down the junk in front of our house and dump it in the dumpster at the school he works at. That’s a good solution.
So is the burning idea (my favorite quote from that posts’ comments was “everything burns if you do it right.” Josh you are a scary, scary firebug. You too Kat.)
But better than both of those solutions combined would be if I AUCTIONED OFF the furniture and knickknacks that are sitting out there. The proceeds would all go to
me, Mwhahaha!!! a deserving charity of course.
So my primary item up for auction is, of course, the rotting desk corpse on our front court:
As you can see item 1 is a gorgeous low quality student’s desk with aproximatly 4 draws and a deep brown faux wood finish. Simply stunning.
Pretty much all the pieces are included with the desk, including some of the original screws. This one is definitely a collectors item.
The owner has also generously offered to include two crates of empty beer bottles with the purchase of this desk.
These beer bottles are also in excellent condition. (Also: GIANT. Like twice the size of normal beer bottles.)
So go on and take a bid on the collectors item of the century!
Just to sweeten the deal a little (like it needs it!) I will throw in this intricately crafted TV antenna to the first bidder who contacts me. FOR FREE.
This package is such a good deal I expect to be inundated with offers almost immediately. I have a few terms and conditions for this great pile of rotting junk:
- Bidders are solely responsible for collecting their items from my front court.
- I don’t (or refuse to) understand sarcasm. All offers will be considered as real binding contracts. I’ll probably cry if you don’t front up with actual money.
- The charity I have in mind might be my very own made up one…