Last night as I sat at one bus stop waiting for my bus home to arrive, I saw another bus on the opposite corner leaving for Miramar. I swore, gathered up my stuff, and ran for it.
I only got halfway across the road before I realised that my bus pass was missing. I sprinted back to the original bus stop. I then realised that my bus pass was in my hand. Where I left it. Idiot.
I then turned and ran back across the road towards the bus, as it happily turned the corner and vanished off in the direction of home. Sighing I tuned and re-crossed the road to sit back at the original bus stop.
That little story doesn’t sound too bad does it? I mean sure it’s a little embarrassing, but nothing too bad, right?
Right… Except when you add in a few of the Signs of The Crazy, then it begins to get a little more of a spectacle. And that sort of explains why I had all the people at two bus stops, and the smokers from the bar across the road, staring at me like I was about to strip down to my sports bra and start shrieking about how the power lines talk to me.
Signs of The Crazy that I exhibited last night:
Disregard for personal safety and/or walk signals.
I didn’t mention that the road I was running back and forth on was a busy road did I? And that the cars sort-of-maybe-kind-of had a green light? No? Well they, ah, did. Thanks to the dude in the white ute who stopped and watched as I ran back and forwards in front of him, rather than hitting the gas and scoring 10 points on the crazy lady.
The Crazy Person uniform.
I had just finished Taekwon Do, So I was wearing what must have looked like white hospital pajama’s. On top of crazy comfortable Jesus sandals… erm… And a big shapeless waterproof jacket. With panda arms.
Talking to no-one/ everyone/ someone who isn’t there.
“Ah! no the bus!…. Ahh! Car!… Shoot my bus pass!… Please stop driver… Shit, I have my bus pass!… I’m an idiot….Ahh! Car!… Stop Driver!… Danm I missed my bus…”
Unusual attachment to an inanimate object/s.
The whole time I was running back and forwards across the road I was clutching my brand spanking new laptop to my chest like a newborn baby. Also my subway sandwich (I was really hungry.)
The Crazy in the eyes.
I was pretty tired, and hungry. And I had been waiting for a bus for 20 minutes. I would have accepted a lift from any bus that looked like it had a 45% chance of reaching my house. So I looked a little desperate/ mad/ bat-shit crazy.
I’m clinging to the fact that I knew I looked like a crazy person. Everyone knows that if you know you look crazy, then you’re not actually crazy. At least I’m pretty sure that’s the rule.
Also? NEW LAPTOP. I’ve named it Cecelia, it’s a white MacBook, and the newest computer I’ve ever owned. I’m terrified I’m going to ruin it somehow. Example: I washed my hands before I used it the first time… Not because they were dirty, but because I thought maybe the oils in my skin might somehow instantly turn the pristine white keys yellow.
We still don’t have Internet at home though. Well actually we have Internet (and we have had it for TWO MONTHS now) but we do not have a modem. Nope, what we have is a wireless router. That my flatmates and I hadn’t already realised this makes us all worthy of ticking the ‘fricking idiot’ box on our next job interview form.
My iPod shuffle and non-apple-brand dock don’t seem to be getting along with the laptop.
I can connect, and sync, and even load the shuffle with songs…. But I can’t disconnect my shuffle safely. iTunes tells me that it can’t eject my shuffle, because it’s being used by another application. I look for this mystery application that is apparently using my shuffle, and I can’t find it. It’s like GHOST APPLICATION.
MacBook: It’s touching me.
Shuffle: No I’m not!
MacBook: It’s touching me! Stop it!
Shuffle: I’m not!
MacBook: Yes it is! I saw it.
Shannon: If you two don’t quit and eject, so help me God, I’ll turn this car around and I’ll disconnect you myself!
MacBook: NOOOOOOO. That’s a really dumb idea.
Shannon: Quits all applications, relaunches finder, pulls shuffle unceremoniously from non-apple-brand dock.
MacBook: Unauthorised device removal. Dude, I told you that you couldn’t do that.
MacBook: MacBook needs to restart. Why do you hate me?
Shannon: Oh God. I killed it.