Ok. This is something I’ve been musing over for a while. I’m going to open this blog back up onto a public setting. It’s been on private since 2008, but I have been writing on occasion, more to help myself process, than for an audience.
I’ve decided that the time is right to re-open my blog. I’m a very different person now, than I was then. There may be a noticeable shift, in style, content, and mood.
There are a number of posts on this blog that may ever so slightly alarm friends and family members who stumble across it. That is not my intention.
This blog is not a cry for help. I am receiving all the help that I need at this time. While I appreciate the thought and intent behind any unsolicited advice, that’s not why I’ve chosen to re-open my blog.
I am making this blog public again for a number of reasons:
First, writing helps me process my feelings and actions. It helps me create understandable, and relatable narratives about the (often) vast, scary, and overwhelming feelings that can be associated with my depression.
Leaf Probably helps me find the funny in almost every situation, and it allows me to record, track, and share the colourful and bright moments in my life. Sometimes, I need to see my progress to understand that I’m making it.
Second, I feel like admitting depression erases my personality, my idenity, and all that makes me human and quintessentially me.
Depression is not my identity, and I would like to find myself again.
Third, I’ve found myself thinking of depression as some shameful secret that I hold very close to my chest. I feel like admitting I have undergone depressive episodes sets me aside from regular society. I feel it’s important to be more open.
I have removed a number of old posts from before my 2008 decision to go private.
For now the comments section is open, and will remain so on most posts written from 2010 onwards. This, however, is my personal blog and I reserve the right to filter, or block any undesirable comments, or commenters.