Just one thing? Hm. Lets see, I hate lots of things about my body… but I’m not going to pick one of those, because they’re not really things I can do anything about. They’re things I have to learn to love – or even just to accept.
Ooh, I have a good one. I hate that I am a crappy speller.
As a kid I had huge issues with learning how to read. I couldn’t figure out why some words were said one way, and others differently. For example, a word like ‘curl’ would have me writhing in insecurity. When I sounded the individual letters out it came out sounding like some kind of ill-fitting jigsaw puzzle. Individually, the ‘c’ sound and the ‘u’ sound were right, but together?
Eventually I was sent to remedial reading, and eventually something clicked, and I got it. I understood reading. Finally.
I began to read huge chunks of text. I became addicted to reading. I read all hours of the day, all hours of the night – and with the help of a flashlight, all the early hours of the morning. Reading was my new love, and everything paled beside it. (Except ponies.)
(Unless I was reading about ponies, in which case, my parents could expect me to lapse into some kind of blissful pony-book trance.)
So reading I got.
Spelling on the other hand? I never understood it. There is no remedial spelling when you’re in primary school – everyone gets that wrong.
I didn’t realise I even had a problem until high school, when one of my science teachers pulled me aside and talked to me about the issues she thought I was having with spelling. It turns out, while everyone else had learnt to spell along the way, I hadn’t.
Even now, when I write, I have to physically see a word written down, because I’ve taught myself to recognise if a word is spelt wrong based on how the shapes look, rather than if I have the right letters.
I STILL have to teach myself new words. I only learnt how to spell ‘business’ right a couple of years ago, and even now I have to remind myself by emphasising the busIness as I’m writing.
I hate the spelling thing, because it means I have an unhealthy reliance on spellcheck. I literally spellcheck everything. I love my laptop, because it automatically spellchecks everything, even if I’m just typing in a website, or in my sticky-notes, or calender programme.
When it comes to written exams and stuff?? Oh my god the agony of trying to get the spelling right is almost more pressure than the actual exam. I remember one where I was trying to write about the politics in one of the countries in Asia, and having to change my essay topic, because I couldn’t figure out how to spell the name of the country, OR its capital.
I figured that getting that wrong would set the wrong tone for the essay.
So yeah. Something I hate about myself = my spelling skillz. I wish I was an ABC Ninja.