Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

30 Days of Truth

Just one thing? Hm. Lets see, I hate lots of things about my body… but I’m not going to pick one of those, because they’re not really things I can do anything about. They’re things I have to learn to love – or even just to accept.

Ooh, I have a good one. I hate that I am a crappy speller.

As a kid I had huge issues with learning how to read. I couldn’t figure out why some words were said one way, and others differently. For example, a word like ‘curl’ would have me writhing in insecurity. When I sounded the individual letters out it came out sounding like some kind of ill-fitting jigsaw puzzle. Individually, the ‘c’ sound and the ‘u’ sound were right, but together?

Eventually I was sent to remedial reading, and eventually something clicked, and I got it. I understood reading. Finally.

I began to read huge chunks of text. I became addicted to reading. I read all hours of the day, all hours of the night – and with the help of a flashlight, all the early hours of the morning. Reading was my new love, and everything paled beside it. (Except ponies.)

(Unless I was reading about ponies, in which case, my parents could expect me to lapse into some kind of blissful pony-book trance.)

So reading I got.

Spelling on the other hand? I never understood it. There is no remedial spelling when you’re in primary school – everyone gets that wrong.

I didn’t realise I even had a problem until high school, when one of my science teachers pulled me aside and talked to me about the issues she thought I was having with spelling. It turns out, while everyone else had learnt to spell along the way, I hadn’t.

Even now, when I write, I have to physically see a word written down, because I’ve taught myself to recognise if a word is spelt wrong based on how the shapes look, rather than if I have the right letters.

I STILL have to teach myself new words. I only learnt how to spell ‘business’ right a couple of years ago, and even now I have to remind myself by emphasising the busIness as I’m writing.

I hate the spelling thing, because it means I have an unhealthy reliance on spellcheck. I literally spellcheck everything. I love my laptop, because it automatically spellchecks everything, even if I’m just typing in a website, or in my sticky-notes, or calender programme.

When it comes to written exams and stuff?? Oh my god the agony of trying to get the spelling right is almost more pressure than the actual exam. I remember one where I was trying to write about the politics in one of the countries in Asia, and having to change my essay topic, because I couldn’t figure out how to spell the name of the country, OR its capital.

I figured that getting that wrong would set the wrong tone for the essay.

So yeah. Something I hate about myself = my spelling skillz. I wish I was an ABC Ninja.


2 thoughts on “Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

  1. Spelling Ninja? Freaking awesomesauce.
    Spelling is hard for everyone, and the dependence on spell check has made it even worse. Now at least it’s socially acceptable to not spell, not like when I was young *cue creaky bones* and the mean old English teacher would whack you with a ruler and scrawl red all over your papers if you didn’t spell it right.

    Love this idea–am going through and reading all your posts!

    Hey Sugar Peep 🙂 Thanks for dropping in! I love new commenters!! I especially love commenters who use words like ‘awesomesauce’!

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