Spider Invasion 2010

I found three of these bad-boys in my room during winter. Sometimes, when I have problems sleeping, instead of counting sheep I scrutinize every inch of wall-space for spider-like silhouettes.

Becks is this flats’ go-to person for spider removal. Mostly because Both Jasmyne and I are complete pussies when it comes to spiders.

While we’re cowering in the corner, Becks sweeps in and efficiently removes even the nastiest of spiders – Like the tarantula look-alike (which this evening’s google-spree tells me was a tunnel web – could it have a creepier name!!??) that made herself comfortable in my room three months ago. It was the biggest spider I’ve ever seen in New Zealand, and guys? IT WAS IN MY ROOM.

I nearly moved out.

Without my stuff.

Then Becks came in, and casually picked it up between a copy of Taekwon Do Talk magazine, and a glass bowl, and released it outside.

Into the garden.

Which I walk past all the time.

I’m still considering moving out… So long as I don’t have to go past that garden.

Anyway. The point of this post, is that Becks is in Australia at the moment, and she’s left Jasmyne and I here alone. Unsupervised.

And we had a spider situation. Which we solved. All by ourselves.

It took a while, because we had to strategize our escape routes, and create a ‘zone of safety’ by placing towels against her door, so that the spider didn’t drop off the CD rack it was sitting on, and run into her room.

Then we had to incapacitate it. We were all out of insect spray, so instead we found the nastiest cleaning spray in the house, that wouldn’t stain the carpet (glass cleaner had the most ingredients, and promised not to stain fabric, so we went with that.)

Then we had to decide how humane we wanted to be. If we went for the more technically-difficult option of catch and kill, what would we catch it in? And how far away from the house was safe? And what if the spider got out of the container, and ran up Jasmyne’s arm, and into her hair? THEN WHAT?

We all know I’d be no help.

The decision to kill the spider was surprisingly easy.

We disoriented the spider with glass cleaner, then went with blunt-force trauma via spatula. Then, just to be safe, we scraped it into a container, and threw it out the bathroom window.

The whole operation only took 40 minutes. (And some MINOR screaming.)

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