Dorks Unite! Join my club. We’ll be awkward and unco-ordinated together.

I just got back from exercising – the first martial arts session I’ve been to his year, in fact.

We did a little bit of sparring… And let me tell you – there’s nothing like the crippling fear that you’re going to make a 7 year old cry to make you sweat.

I didn’t make anyone cry. Just so you know.

I did accidentally get a little dude in the nose with my foot, but I think I managed to pull it before it hit him too hard. I hope I did, anyway. He just rubbed it and moved on.

So yeah, not too strenuous, but I’m still a bit sore.

Martial arts are totally badass, right? So why (oh why) can’t I look badass doing them?

You know what? Maybe I’m just not meant to look cool. Maybe it’s my fate to always be a bit of an unco-ordinated dork.

I’m going to make a club. Dorks Unite! We’ll go do awkward things together, and take terrible photos.

Tell me, is there anything that you totally thought would make you look badass and cool, that TOTALLY let you down?


14 thoughts on “Dorks Unite! Join my club. We’ll be awkward and unco-ordinated together.

  1. Haha, oh come on! It’s not that bad! I’d look twenty times as weird trying to do that kick thing that you’re doing… I do like that you can laugh at yourself, though.

    I once took up fencing for a total of two lessons. I thought I would be awesome at it (because I’ve seen Zorro many many times) but actually it was disappointingly unco, and weird, and hot, and I hated it.

  2. Hey Uncool One,
    Actually I thought you were doing a levitation thing in that 2nd photo so really it looked pretty good. Or about to leap into that cool karate movie from the Karate Kid. . . I know it’s the wrong sport but maybe you multi-sport? No?
    If it helps I do Bikram yoga- you know, the room’s heated to 40 degrees- so standing in a nice relaxing tree pose with hands in prayer, sweat DRIPS of my elbows in a little running stream. . . so I don’t look cool either. What’s distressing is that I look at the beginners at the back of the room, they’re not sweating at all. I’m the tap and the pool all rolled into one- so I’m with ya on not cool.
    Although, yeah, never made sense to me why aren’t the uniforms black? So much more flattering.

  3. Ok I see a yellow belt first, and then a green one. How does the badass color hierarchy work in Taekwon Do ? Is Black the top of the pyramid, like in Karate?

  4. Nursing uniforms are totally not cool. First of all, I am not nor was I ever a nurse, but someone decided that all hospital employees who are not doctors shall wear nursing uniforms. Secondly, nursing uniforms look nothing like those provocative, sexy little numbers that men fantasize about. Actually, they are more like potato sacks. To make the situation even better, one of the allowed department colors was khaki. KHAKI! Are you kidding me? Thankfully, our other color was royal blue. Yes, I wore royal blue scrubs everyday for 6 years. Why make a hideous situation worse?

  5. I may have the hour glass shape, but it isn’t the size I would prefer it to be. I hate side shots (photos). Sometimes, I go through my journals, you know the written ones, before blogging, and I can see that I have unsuccessfully tried year after year to change my fate. I’m learning to accept myself, but I am not willing to accept total defeat!

    The fact that you do all that martial arts stuff is way more impressive to me, then someone standing around being skinny by genetics. Keep on being fabulous you!

  6. YES! I am totally joining your team. Let me in!

    BTW – it is impossible to look awesome in a riding helmet. I’ve ridden horses since I was 5, competed regionally through high school and in college in eventing (the three-phases you see in the Olympics) and that helmet, while necessary to keep you alive sometimes, is. not. flattering.

    PS Hey… in case you were wondering! A “dork” is a whale penis. Just sayin. I think that’s hilarious. I totally just made your day.

  7. Soooo whale penis…ah Grass hopper! Let it be known that I did try to get you into Freestyle Karate (whom wear Black Gi’s) but them’s the breaks.
    Love the levitation trick. Looks good.

    Stab proof vests! Every tried running in those things! I’ve had school kids join in a foot chase to see what I was running after!

  8. Sarah: Fencing?? DUDE that’s totally cool! I have also seen Zorro (possibly not as many times as you) I think I’d probably be awesome at it.

    Josie: I’ve only done Bikram once, but I LOVED it. Even though the guy in front of me was wearing short-shorts, and sweating so much it looked like he’d peed himself. Thanks for dropping by ๐Ÿ™‚

    Ormie:Yup Black belts are at the top ๐Ÿ™‚

    Humanitarikim: Ugh! Khaki!!?? Gross!

    Lickety Splitter: I do the same thing. Every year I have grand plans for becoming a sleek skinny wee thing, that never quite pan out! Stupid body. I have to keep reminding myself that yeah, it’s not a shape I like, but it’s strong,(moderately) fit, healthy and capable, so it’s not all that bad!

    Nikki04:Ah I love riding! But yes, the helmets are less than sexy. Especially the sweaty hat-hair you get after wearing one for hours in summer.

    Also: Ok, just so that everyone knows? a dork is not a whale penis. There is a species of fish called a dork, and it is occasionally used as slang for penis, but a dork is not a whale penis.

    Just sayin.

    Dad: I think back then I was too scardy-cat for karate!

    And stab-proof vests ARE badass. I, for one, and extremely glad you have to wear them!

  9. Bad-ass! You’re like the coolest dork I don’t know.

    Also, you don’t look like a refrigerator, but *if* you did, that would be awesome. Because the refrigerator is where the food is kept. And food = happiness. Unless we’re talking about mushrooms. Mushrooms definitely do not equal happiness. Or cottage cheese. Or oatmeal.

  10. Alonewithcats TOTALLY STOLE my comment! Except for the mushrooms. I love fungi. I think it’s great that you’re doing that taekwan do stuff. Really great.

  11. AH ha ha! Someone once told me “dork” was a whale penis and I believed them. Thanks for setting the record straight! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. Wow! You are the bravest dork out there! That’s something I never do! After all, it involves physical exertion!

    I’ve tried everything to look cool. (Never tried to look bad-arse though) It’s never worked.

  13. I don’t think you look like a fridge at all!!! Those uniforms are NOT flattering, but you are awesome and I’ve seen you in other pictures where your innate hotness is displayed. And seriously? who is taking pictures of you while you work out? Kick them in the face!

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