I’m back! I’m back! Nobody panic, I’m back!
Phew. It has been a busy week. Hence all the silence over here on Leaf Probably.
So, I’ve had a completely unsuccessful day so far. I was supposed to be at my doctor at 11.15am this morning, and I only realised this at 11.05am this morning.
Unfortunately, up until this point I’d been lounging in my own filth, and working on my cover letter. I COULD have gone ahead and run up the hill all greasy, and disgusting, but thought it would be kinder to everyone if I showered first.
I finally got up to Uni at 11.20, panting and sweating like a rapist because dudes? My university is perched up on a mountain that rivals Everest – BTW? University planner? What the hell were you thinking? Students HATE exercise. And knowing you have to strap on tramping boots, and a belaying line before your 9am Monday class is NOT helping motivate us to get there on time.
The next thing on today’s agenda was to workout. So I go to the gym that’s closest to Uni, in the hopes of being on time for the 12pm ‘Lift Heavy Things, and Cry, While Pretending It’s Just Sweat‘ class. Needless to say: I was not on time. I’m never on time.
So instead I amused myself in the cardio room, and did a dancey fun class before trying to get back into my locker. Only my $2 Shop padlock? It would not open.
This, is actually really funny, because I once managed to open this padlock with nothing more than a hair pin (Luckily there are never any of those lying around the women’s changing room, otherwise EVERYONE would be able to break into my locker and see my towel and spare pair of socks.)
Unfortunately today I didn’t have a hairpin on me.
While I’m sitting there trying to jam my key into the lock, and it’s not unlocking, I notice all the other naked ladies in the changing room are totally covertly watching me. So I have to make unnecessarily loud comments to my neighbor (also naked) about how “hahaha, this totally happens all the time, I swear I’m not breaking into anyone elses locker!”
Only, I’m totally uncomfortable with the whole ‘naked people’ situation – I pretty much aim to get in, get changed, and then get the hell out before I have to make eye contact with anyone else. My stupid padlock was thwarting my ‘avoid having to see old-lady-butt’ plans.
Finally I had to give up the futile tugging, and accept that there was no way that lock was coming off without the help of a bolt cutter. Fortunately the gym has one of those behind the front desk because “this totally happens all the time!” (Whatever, perky gym lady. I know you’re judging me.)
Then we had to go back into the room full of naked people who were, at this point, actually staring at me. So I felt the need to be all “See I told you it’s my locker!”
And finally? In todays carnival of errors? I just took a chunk of skin off my thigh with a razor, while I was shaving.
I’m not so awesome with the blood (although I’m getting better) So the razor slips, and I’m all OW that HURTS! And then I see this long cut all “blood” and my thought process goes like this:
Mild curiosity: Wow that really hurts. And it’s quite a decent chunk. Interesting
Panic: Ah! I need to sit down! Or lie down! Or cover the blood with something. Like a flannel! Call 111!!!
Common Sense: But I need to finish shaving first otherwise I’ll look like a freak.
Irrationality: But OMG I’m bleeding! I’m probably going to die.
Rationality: Wait. No, it’s just a cut. A band aid will probably do. I probably should get off the floor. The shower is getting cold.
It was traumatic. And now it hurts. And I have a plaster bigger than my hand on it. It’s really more of a scratch than anything else. I’m a dork.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get ready for TKD (sparring tonight -> insert colourful swear word here.)