Dear Owner of the small yappy dog,
I like animals. I really do. I’m routinely late to work, because I had to stop to pat a cat on the way. And I love dogs. I sometimes make friends walk around the waterfront with me on weekends, so that I can pat the dogs.
But I hate your dog. I really do.
I’m not sure if you know this, but your little yappy dog Barks.
It barks from the hours of 9am to 4.30pm on week days. And usually that’s annoying, and it drives me up the wall, but it doesn’t drive me to scream at your dog in frustration.
However. This weekend was the lat straw. I worked a 14 hour shift, followed by a 13 hour shift, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to sleep to 11am. That’s all I was asking. 11am after the Rugby sevens in Wellington. That’s not unusual.
But. Your. Fucking. Dog.
Your fucking yappy dog started barking a lot earlier than 11am. I know, because it woke me up. Many times. And now? Now I’m angry.
Do something about the fucking dog. Please. Investigate puppy daycare or something. Or – here’s an idea – LET IT THE FUCK INTO THE HOUSE.
Seriously. Please do something about your dog.
Your sleep deprived Neighborhood Morning Bear.