Today I am angry and frustrated, but hopeful. Or just tired. One of those.

It’s 8am again people. Mum just woke me up again on the phone, and as per usual her first words were “are you still in bed?!!”

My Mum is a morning person. She gets up at 6am in the morning and brings me toast when I stay at her house. Not that I don’t appeciate toast, it’s just that 6am is not my optimal operating time. As we all know.

Anyway. She was calling because we hung out at the beach yesterday and I was venting my frustration over my weight. I mean, I go to the gym 3-4 times a week for anywhere between 1-2 hours. I do Taekwon Do twice a week. I walk EVERYWHERE. I’m literally on my feet walking for an hour every day – often longer. I do eat some crap, and I constantly crave sugar and carbs, but I honestly can’t afford to eat a LOT of crap. Generally my diet is ok.

And yet I’m still gaining weight. I weigh the most I’ve ever weighed today.

I weighed the most I’d ever weighed last week.

I weighted the most I’d ever weighed the week before at the doctors office.

Why in the hell can’t I lose weight!? I mean, I’ve always had a SHIT time at losing weight. I find it easy to gain muscle, and easy to gain weight, but REALLY hard to lose weight. I also gain it all around my tummy and back – I’m an apple. That’s just my body type. But at the moment it’s like its magnified or something.

It’s so fucking frustrating. The blood tests I had showed up nothing unusual – they tested for thyroid issues. The doc wants to have to have more done that look at hormone issues.

Anyways. The medication that I’m on is an SSRI – Fluoxitine. When you first go on them it helps kill your appetite, but the longer you’re on them, the more people start saying that they’re constantly feeling hungry, and gaining weight. Unfortunately all my research in this area is via doctor google, so I really should talk to my actual doctor about it.

Anyway. I’m gaining weight it’s fucking frustrating, and it’s killing my confidence. (Also my wardrobe. I’ve just realised that I only packed black clothing for this trip. I literally only have one coloured top with me.)

And I was venting all of this to Mum, and she was online this morning and found a 12 week programme at a gym in Wellington, that uses nutritionists, personal trainers, massage, and a fitness programme to help kick-start weightloss, and she wanted to know if I wanted to do it.

Even though it was 8am in the morning I said YES. Even morning bear knows a good thing when she hears it.

So tell me, do you have any experience with antidepressants and weightgain/ loss? Any advice to share?

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6 thoughts on “Today I am angry and frustrated, but hopeful. Or just tired. One of those.

  1. Just for you, I have posted about Fluoxetine and it’s side effects. Most of my information comes from a great book that I had to read for one of my classes, so I hope you find it useful.

    Are you also in therapy?

    As far as the weight gain
    1. How long have you been working out like this?
    2. On a scale of 1-10, how stressed would you say you are usually during a normal day?

    Hope you feel better soon!

  2. I feel for you. Really. I’m on medication that causes weight gain and whatever I tried didn’t work. As I’m saying…whatever I tried, since I gave up. Don’t give up…

  3. How frustrating! I’m trying to lose a few pounds, too, and nothing seems to be working. A couple months ago I started using myfooddiary.com to track my calories.Turned out I was eating a little too much, but the big thing was that I wasn’t getting enough protein and iron. Eating more of that helped a little, but I’ve still only lost 2 pounds.

    I hope your doctor is able to figure out what’s going on!

  4. I am so fat right now & can totally relate to what you are feeling. It sucks when you exercise and gain, or even exercise and not lose anything. It’s rough–but try to keep it up. There is no better feeling in the world than when you have to buy new clothes because you old ones are too big!

  5. Dated a girl once who was on anti-depressants and she struggled with her weight too. Unlike you, though, she would get frustrated, then not DO anything about it. You’re putting in the effort, so even if it isn’t paying off right at the moment, as long as you keep the habits up, it will pay off in the future when your body becomes accustomed to the meds or you’re off them completely. Either way, don’t lose hope!

  6. I’ve struggled with my weight ever since I hit puberty. I was never fat as a kid, but when I hit my teens; my weight just took off. At around the same time I damaged my left leg leaving me with a long term weakness and inability to do high impact exercise. I can’t remember the last time I wore a skirt that wasn’t calf length and three-quarters of my wardrobe is black. I’m often terribly frustrated, because I don’t over eat and try to be as healthy as I can be.

    I do a lot of low impact exercise. I considered medication, but after seeing the effects of weight loss medication and anti-depressants on a close friend, I decided against them – too many scary side effects and some severe emotional booby traps. My friend became a totally different person on them, and it took a long time to for her to rebalance herself, even after she stopped taking the pills.

    I’m now trying to find more natural solutions: eating small, regular meals throughout the day; green tea, kelp supplements (high in antioxidants); spices like Chilli, Cayenne and Ginger – which raise metabolism. It is difficult for people who have never struggled with their weight to understand just how awful it can make you feel, and I hope that your obvious hard work will, in the long term bear fruit for you.

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