This afternoon I signed in to my email acount to find an email asking for a flat meeting tonight.
I immediately start to wonder if I’m about to be kicked out of the flat. I mean, I haven’t actually been here in the last week, and there’s been no indication that I will ever be kicked out of the flat, but meetings make me uneasy.
I also find an hour or two to obsess about about the shower. I wonder if any one else has noticed that I haven’t cleaned it. Should I clean it now? Before the meeting? BUT if I clean it now, and they hadn’t already noticed that It was dirty, will they notice that I didn’t clean it before now if it’s suddenly clean the hour before the flat meeting?
Hmm. To clean or not to clean.
(Yes. I actually put real thought into this.)
(An hours worth of real thought.)
(I have WAY too much time on my hands.)
I end up cleaning it because.. Well it is dirty, and this way I can be all “Huh? What? I clean it all the time, see look!”
Then I cleaned the toilet, and found some of that toilet duck stuff that sticks on the side of the loo without a cage. And I was like, “Oh Yeah, I should use this! Why do I never use this?”
So I used the weird little backwards plunger thing, and stuck a glob of it on the side of the loo bowl. This is when I remember that I DON’T use the weird cageless loo stuff it because it looks like a big green glob of radioactive snot in the toilet bowl.
Then one of the flatties came home and I faux-casually leaned against the kitchen counter while asking whether she knew what the meeting was about. The flattie shrugged and said something about the agenda.
Yeah. I didn’t read the agenda.
“So. Do you think it’s about the shower at all? Or the toilet?”
The flatmate doesn’t take me very seriously at all – or if she is taking me seriously she’s not tipping her hand ahead of the meeting. She doesn’t say anything about whether I need to clean the bathroom more often.
I nervously go wipe down the bathroom bench, and polish the tap. Then while I’m waiting for 6.30pm to arrive I quickly dust the window stills and skirting boards. Maybe I should also polish the mirror?
It’s not like they’d ask me to leave over a slightly smudgy mirror, though. Right? Only I can’t find the glass cleaner. Using non-glass cleaner would leave streaks! (Panic, obsess, worry.)
It tuns out the flat meeting had very little to do with the bathroom anyway.