Down Days.

Some days I feel like I just don’t have it quite as together as the rest of the world. Todays been one of those days where you just want to put your head in your hands and cry at your desk, while wondering if you took your medication this morning.

This position right here? This is my thinking position at work. I don’t use it very often because it freaks people out, and makes them start asking me invasive questions like “are you alright?” and “do you have a headache?” Usually to be in this position I do have a headache, and I’m nearing the very end of my temper. The fake wood of my desk is reassuringly cool against my forehead, and if I close my eyes I can pretend like I’m somewhere with a window to the outside world, and I can see trees and clouds.

I’ve literally been so busy today that I managed to only grab a couple of mouthfuls of food throughout the day – so long as they were travel-shaped and easy to chew. I forgot about lunch until I was running out the door trying to get to a Spin class… So I jammed a handful of almonds into my cheek pouch and ate them on the way… much like a squirrel would.

I’m a bit worried about this because I have a nutritionist appointment tomorrow afternoon, and I’m going to have to explain why my breakfast was “two swallows of yoghurt and most of an apple”, and why lunch wasn’t actually until 4pm.

In other news I did a spin class today, and I found the whole thing exhausting and quite fun. I think I’ll definitely be going back. They certainly don’t make those bike seats for comfort though, do they? By the time I heaved myself off the stationary bike my ass had a permanent imprint of the seat on it.

I was thinking about hitting the gym again tonight to do weights, but instead I think I’ll sleep. After finding something dinner-like in my pantry that doesn’t involve carbs or processed food.

(Yeah eating carb-free at night is HARD. And expensive. I mean, generally speaking I usually only have meat twice a week, with maybe a can of tuna every day with lunch, but now… not so much I’m all chicken and steak and chicken, and chicken, and more chicken!)

I think I’m just having a down day. Thankfully this doesn’t feel like depression dark down, it just feels like energy deficit down… which means hopefully I’m beginning to learn to tell the difference?


7 thoughts on “Down Days.

  1. the good news is that your ass will adjust to the spin bike seat – you won’t even notice it after one or two classes 🙂

  2. 😦 Sorry you’re having a bad day. If it makes you feel any better, I’m also on the energy deficient, no time to eat, come home from work and go to sleep train. Turns out installing a major new museum gallery is uber stressful and a genius source of weightloss (I lost 2kg between Tuesday and Saturday last week!)

    And dear GOD, the seats on Spin bikes are uncomfortable! Definitely made for skinny little stick insect types… I did five classes and gave up on spinning – my butt just couldn’t take it any more! 😉

  3. There is definitely a difference between being down and being depressed. I think one of the things we’ve forgotten in our over-marketed, “you can be happy all the time if you just buy this” society is that we all go through cycles. We have up days and down days, and that’s normal. Depression isn’t so much about being down, I think, as it is a way of thinking.

    Never taken a spin class, but from what I’ve heard aren’t the seats actually made that way to encourage you not to sit on them?

  4. Like Geekhiker, have never taken a spin class, but when I got my bike home, the first thing I did was go and spend $50 on a comfy seat. Bet Lance Armstrong could crack walnuts with his arse!
    You may have to get all ‘touristy’ and take a bum bag full of food with you, just in case.
    Hope todays better. lu

  5. Kelly: Hello!! My ass is STILL noticing it today. Nevertheless, I think I’ll go back tomorrow… Just to make sure!

    MoMM: Ah no! Stress weight is the WORST for me it always comes back with a vengeance – mostly because I have a habit of stress junk food eating 😦

    Geekhiker: Definitely agree with the depression thing, it’s just when I’m down I sometimes find it hard to tell the difference! Writing it out and re-reading it definitely helps though.
    I think spin class bikes are probably made from the souls of angry people.

    Dad: I’m thinking about investing in those dorky pants with the cushion in the buttular area. That or just taking a pillow with me. Everyone will be all ‘seriously… You’re going to sit on a pillow?’ and I’ll be all ‘damn right I am. You’re all weeping with jealousy. I can tell.’

  6. Those kind of days really are dreadful. The good thing is that they pass. It is funny how everyone forgets to eat or doesn’t have time to eat but that it really should be the opposite cos without food if feels even worse.

    The spinning sounded good anyway. 🙂

  7. I totally feel you on the “down days.” My strategy in days like this is just to ride it out. I remind myself that the mood won’t last forever, that today is just a glitch and then I try to remember to be lenient with myself the rest of the day.

    I consider myself as operating on “energy saver” on days like this–I don’t need to feel good, I don’t need to expend a ton of energy, I just need to get done what needs to get done and make it through the day. I know some people can act perky and chipper when they’re not feeling it, but I can’t, so I just allow myself to be a little less than brilliant and do what I can.

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