Some days I feel like I just don’t have it quite as together as the rest of the world. Todays been one of those days where you just want to put your head in your hands and cry at your desk, while wondering if you took your medication this morning.
This position right here? This is my thinking position at work. I don’t use it very often because it freaks people out, and makes them start asking me invasive questions like “are you alright?” and “do you have a headache?” Usually to be in this position I do have a headache, and I’m nearing the very end of my temper. The fake wood of my desk is reassuringly cool against my forehead, and if I close my eyes I can pretend like I’m somewhere with a window to the outside world, and I can see trees and clouds.
I’ve literally been so busy today that I managed to only grab a couple of mouthfuls of food throughout the day – so long as they were travel-shaped and easy to chew. I forgot about lunch until I was running out the door trying to get to a Spin class… So I jammed a handful of almonds into my cheek pouch and ate them on the way… much like a squirrel would.
I’m a bit worried about this because I have a nutritionist appointment tomorrow afternoon, and I’m going to have to explain why my breakfast was “two swallows of yoghurt and most of an apple”, and why lunch wasn’t actually until 4pm.
In other news I did a spin class today, and I found the whole thing exhausting and quite fun. I think I’ll definitely be going back. They certainly don’t make those bike seats for comfort though, do they? By the time I heaved myself off the stationary bike my ass had a permanent imprint of the seat on it.
I was thinking about hitting the gym again tonight to do weights, but instead I think I’ll sleep. After finding something dinner-like in my pantry that doesn’t involve carbs or processed food.
(Yeah eating carb-free at night is HARD. And expensive. I mean, generally speaking I usually only have meat twice a week, with maybe a can of tuna every day with lunch, but now… not so much I’m all chicken and steak and chicken, and chicken, and more chicken!)
I think I’m just having a down day. Thankfully this doesn’t feel like depression dark down, it just feels like energy deficit down… which means hopefully I’m beginning to learn to tell the difference?