My default face…

Sometimes I get worried about people worrying about me. Which, if you’re confused reading that sentence, think how confusing it must be for me feeling that.

The thing that worries me is this: I’m not really a smiler. And when I’m not smiling.. I look tense. And unhappy. Also worried. That’s just what I like to call my default face.

It’s not usually how I feel, but I also don’t feel like smiling away at nothing like a ninny.

Because, well that’s what crazy people do. Also? It’s tiring.

I’ve never really been a smiler, I guess. I remember a relative jabbing me in the stomach when I was a kid, and telling me “The only time I ever see you smile is when I’m talking about food.” It’s kind of an ugly memory.

Also old men have a habit of stopping me in the street and saying things like “It’s not all that bad is it?” It was kind of creepy the first few times they did it, but I’m getting used to it at 25. It’s just an old man way of saying hello to a morose looking stranger on the street.

Hairdressers have been known to describe me as very serious. I guess because most people when they relax at the hairdresser, well they smile. I don’t. I just… relax. And very seriously contemplate my trashy gossip magazine.

Also when I was in my late teens Dad dragged us kids along to a professional photographer. You know the kind with all those generic cloud backgrounds, where they arrange the family into an awkward, stiff and yet aesthetically correct group? And he was all “Smile sweetheart, you have a beautiful smile, you should use it more often.”

Comments like that make me want to scowl out of sheer stubborn hard-headed contrary vindictiveness. Unfortunately Dad and my brothers were joking around and the guy managed to get a couple of shots of me smiling. To this day I hate seeing that portrait because every time I do I wish I could have snapped back at him that I’d smile or not smile as I damn-well pleased thankyou!

Unfortunately I was a very polite 17 year old.

So: Me=Not much of a smiler. And now that the majority of my friends know I have The Depression… Well I can feel them watching me sometimes, and I feel pressure to put on my smily photo face, just to show them that I’m doing ok. Really.

Last week one of them said something to the tune of “that’s the most I’ve seen you smile all week!” And it occurred to me that maybe it was… And that I’m really not trying to give off the impression I’m not happy. I’ve actually had a pretty good few days recently.

Work is busy, but I’m getting a lot done. My personal training stuff is amazing. I had a session yesterday where we focused on legs, and this morning I couldn’t walk with my heels on the ground because my calves are still feeling those calf raises.

I spent Friday and Saturday in a frenzy of excitement on recruitment sites. I signed up for no less than 5 different recruitment agencies, applied for roughly twenty jobs, and then found myself getting all over excited and accidently enlisting in the Army.

Thankfully I managed to stop myself before I sent in the application. I’m not really interested in going through basic training just to get a new career. Not when my own current career is going so nicely at the moment.

The point though, is that I’m excited about the future, and I’m happy – more or less – at the moment, and I’m not living my life under the dark cloud anymore.

I’m wondering if I’m not showing the people around me that enough? Maybe I need to spend more time talking about the good stuff with my friends? Or maybe I just need to suck it up and paste a stupid smile on my face.

ANYWAY. So actually this isn’t what I came on here to whine about. I actually came on here to LP BECAUSE I am thinking about a haircut! Wo! A DRAMATIC haircut. I currently have quite LONG Thick, naturally curly hair. And I’m getting a little tired of the length of time it takes to style.

AND I was looking online, and I found a bunch of really cool haircuts that I kind of WANT.

So I sent out an email to friends, asking them to play hairdresser with me and these are the results:


Everyone I’ve surveyed loves the colour of this one, but the fringe might just be too blunt for me.
1 Vote
4 Colour votes


This one is probably the least change, yes it has a fringe, but the layers and the way it shapes the face are pretty similar to what I usually get.
2 Votes


I think this would be the shortest I’ve ever had my hair if I got it done… But I kind of love it… I’m not sure it it would make my face look fat though.
3 Votes


This one… Well I’m not so sure about it any more, but my mum likes it. And I do like the choppiness of the fringe. It appeals to me. And the length is an easy one – not too short, and not too long…
1 Vote


This one is my favorites, actually. I’d never suit blonde, but I think this would look pretty good in a deep dark mahogany. I LOVE the shaping around the sides, and the way the layers sit. Louise thinks that my hair might be too thick for this. And I’m a little worried about the length of the fringe.
2 Votes


This one is my second favorite. The length is fun, and SHORT, and it looks shorter at the back than the front… But I might be OK with that. Again, the sweepy fringe thing might get a little annoying… But You can train hair, right?
3 Votes
3 Colour Votes

So… Now that we’ve been very intellectual and deep today… Can you tell me what cut you like the most?

I know! I know! It’s not what you signed up for, but PLEASE. I am stuck.

Remember, naturally curly thick hair. I blowdry it and straighten it maybe every second day. I’m sticking with a darker reddy brown colour base.


9 thoughts on “My default face…

  1. I voted number 6. If the side fringe thing annoys you, there’s always bobby pins to hold it back!! 😉 And you could totally wear a headband at TKD or the gym to keep it out of your face.

    I too have a default face. I didn’t realise this until we started taking a lot of photos during gallery install for the work blog, and someone commented that I *always* look bored. So I probably need to work on smiling more too. And what IS it about hairdressers and wanting to talk?? You can’t hear them over all the hairdriers and the music, and if they want to chat, why the heck do they give you magazines?? I don’t understand it…

  2. 3, 4 and 6 with 6 being the best I think….and I happen to love that portrait.
    It was taken at a time in our life that balanced. I look at it and smile EVERYTIME!

    Will ‘6’ be a problem with TKD? lu

  3. OK I couldn’t vote. I can’t decide. But, I do like 4, but that may be because it shows me a curly option for those days you ‘can’t be bothered’.
    Whatever you get, you need to go to someone who understands curly hair so that you can go with straightening it, or leaving it au natural.

  4. MoMM: I’m thinking 6 too! I’m easily swayed!
    And YES on chatty hairdressers: It’s almost like dentists and talking. I can remember my orthodontist wanting to have heart-to-hearts while he was wrestling with my wires.

    Dad: Maybe… But I could always just pull it back with a headband… It might be a bit too short to tie back, but the headband would keep it out of my face.

    Adey: Absolutely! I learnt that the hard way. Hairdressers with straight hair never really understand the peril of being lat to work with cat-lady hair.

  5. Hmmm nr 3 and 6 I’d say. Sometimes you need to experiment. I remember when i cut my hair short the first time. When from really long (waist length) to a pixie cut in one go. Actually think the hairdresser was more nervous than I was. Since then I had shoulder length, beneath shoulder, just above, short layered etc etc. It is fun and if it goes wrong… hair grows out again and there is always hair gel.

    Don’t worry about having thick hair or lots of it… that is where hair thinners come in… they are my best friend. The downside to a shorter cut is that you need to go to the hairdresser more often to keep the styling.

    Hope you find a cut you love. 🙂

    Hmmm which reminds me… I need to book an appointment. 🙂

  6. jesus, I love your sense of humour.

    I think people would understand you better if they read your blog. My friend used to get detentions because of her default face, I’m sure she would relate.

  7. I guess I was thinking more on the wind side of things down in Welly and how that Fringe you have taken a fancy too, could actually become a weapon if not do your if not someone elses some serious damage LOL..To be honest most of those cuts are simialar just at different lengths with different highlighting colours but layered much the same. And on the default face…I think you should talk to your Nana and Grumps about that evidentally it was family thing and they threatened to put shutters on the sides of my pram due to the fact when ever anyone looked into admire me, I would scream my head off.

    LU Mum

  8. Just out of curiosity, do you smile when you’re alone? You know, sitting in an empty room, reading something funny on the internet, do you smile then? Just curious…

  9. People who know me are aware that I’m pretty much an optomistic smiler. Those who don’t think that I’m a grim-faced grouch. My default face isn’t the one I would have chosen.

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