My ‘ah-huh!’ moment.

I figured out why I was feeling so out of it this morning. As usual (when it comes to my mental state, anyway) it was linked to stress.

In my mornings I sit at my new curvaceous desk at large governmental, and nothing is hard, or urgent. There are no deadlines, and I barely get to think for myself (because I’m still in my honeymoon training phase.)

But all the while I’m jittery, and distracted, and foggy because I am stressed that after lunch I’m going to lurch into final week hell in my old small NGO office. Like I arrive, and I sit at my desk, and I literally do not move for the next three to five hours, because I’m frantically trying to wrap-up all my loose ends.

Of course that stress is carrying over into my mornings.

And when I was at the depths of my deep dark depression every day felt like this morning. Foggy, impenetrable, and introspective: and that’s not conducive to me working. Instead I spend hours staring at a wall thinking about all possible meanings of the word failure. Or hours staring blindly at Lol-cats, because that’s all I’m smart enough to do anyway.

Last week guys. I can’t wait to get free of that other job. It’s going to be like a breath of fresh air sweeping into my life.

Wo! New Zealand Music Month!

Brooke Fraser: Something in the Water

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5 thoughts on “My ‘ah-huh!’ moment.

  1. For some of us that find it hard to chew gum and walk at the same time (multi tasking) I take my hat off to you.
    And the fact that you have done so for so long with all the added pressure of what you are going through makes me stare in disbelief and admiration.
    Yeah for the one job! Well done.

  2. I hope the last week goes well for you. I know that everything will feel so much better come Friday when you sign off for the last time, and suddenly there is only one focus again. Trust me, I’ve been in the exact same boat during my first few weeks of my first classroom, and the last few weeks of operations manager nightmares!

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