The Fireman

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I have a rule that I don’t discuss dates on my blog (or with my family, for that matter!) unless I’m pretty sure that the guy in question isn’t going to be sticking around. What can I say, I’m a (selectively) private person. It’s mostly self preservation, but it’s also because I’d hate to have to explain to a guy why I mocked my first date with him publicly after he’s stumbled across my blog. Especially if *gasp* I really like the guy.

Anyway. I have a LOT of first dates. Someone asked me a long time ago what my ‘type’ was, and I really didn’t know. That struck me as kind of a sad thing. So ever since then I’ve been doing lots of first dating, and getting a feel for what I like in a guy, and what I don’t like.

So my friends are used to me casually announcing that I have a date coming up. And I’m slowly getting used to them freaking out with excitement over this (apparently some people take this whole ‘dating’ thing a lot more seriously than I do.)

Anyway, even I knew I was in for a big reaction a couple of weeks ago when I told them that I had a date coming up with… a Fireman. A HOT Fireman. Instead of hysterical screaming and demands to know what I was wearing, where we were going, what his name was, how I met him… There was nothing. Nothing but a moment of respectful silence for the realisation of our collective romanticized view of Firemen. Firemen who have posed on calendars. Hot, half naked Firemen who have posed for charity. Hot naked strippers pretending to be firemen…

Then the screaming started. And the questions, and the squealing.

The date itself went well, not as well as some I’ve had, but not as bad as others. I was interested in seeing the guy again, and I told him that – Much to the disgust of some of the ladies.*

Anyway, the next morning when I wandered into the kitchen there was an uncharacteristic silence (I live with extroverts. All silence is uncharacteristic) and then came the breathless questions.

Over the next week we messaged each other, until I finally had to break it to the ladies that there was no way the ‘whole dating a fireman’ thing was going to happen. He’s ten years older than me, has two kids, a house, a dog, and a high-up position. I have goldfish. We’re at two very different stages in our very different lives. The girls were (understandably) disappointed.

What I DIDN’T say was that it wasn’t the age difference, the kids, the house, the dog, or even my fish that put me off… Mostly it was the fact that his stage in life seems to involve a lot of group sex and fantasies of lesbianism unfolding before his very eyes…. And my stage SO does not. I have to say, being asked if I’ve ever had a lesbian threesome by a man who I’ve met ONCE for a hurried glass of wine… Well that’s just disconcerting.

It turns out I like to at least be treated to a meal before someone quizzes me over my sexual preferences via phone! That’s another thing to cross off my ‘Shannon’s Type’ list. See? I’m narrowing it down one date at a time!

*   Just as a side note, how do you feel about telling a guy that you like him, or that you’d like to see him again? – before he’s said something similar to you? Additionally, how do you feel about the lady doing the asking out? I’m never sure if it’s pushy or just empowered.

+   In other news, you can totally buy that costume. Like, it’s a legitimate thing that people sell. For real. Here.**

**    Please god don’t click that link if you’re at work. It sends you to a ‘sexy costume shop’ which is basically the definition of Not Safe For Work.

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6 thoughts on “The Fireman

  1. omg! I’m glad guys like that don’t have a filter. At least we can dismiss them confidently.

    I’m pretty much the kinda girl that if a guy doens’t seem interested in me, I immediately feel turned off (Sgt. Scruffy is a great example) so I see nothing wrong if you’re both having an awesome time and you say you’re interested in seeing him again.

    Then again, I haven’t been kissed since 2005. So forget my opinion 🙂

  2. Bit of a shame, and to think they (Firemen) score very highly, if not always at the top of the ‘Most Trusted’ list annually. Now Policemen; that’s different!

  3. Um. Wow. I think I wouldn’t have been cool with the kids… I’m assuming he’s divorced, right? I’ve just got this thing against divorced guys with kids. The only one’s I ever meet are out looking for one thing, and one thing only. (And it’s not dating, or friendship.)

  4. One, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to tell a guy you want to see him again. I mean, he’s either into it or not, so good to know that now. If he *is* interested until you say “hey I’m interested” and then he’s not anymore? Than he’s just a) into the chase or b) totally weird. Bullet dodged there, too. It’s all about honest communication – and if you can’t be honest or communicate, I say get out now!

    And, hey, I totally hear you on the “woah too much kink!” thing, but at least he was up-front with you on what he’s into now so you can make a decision! I always wonder when I should bring my thoughts on that up… is it too early to be frank right away? Or too late if we’ve already been out a bit? And… ps, by understanding “woah too much kink!” I meant I understand that as a legitimate reaction. One I *personally* don’t have. 😀

  5. Miss M: Yeah. i have no problems with telling a guy a like him.. it’s weird that some guys seem to get so turned off by it though… I wonder if it’s because all of a sudden there’s no challenge? Meh.

    Dad: Hehe, I don;t think I’d ever date a cop. Every time I see the uniform I think “Dad!!” That’s not something you ever want to be thinking about the guy that you’re dating.

    Sarah: Yeah He was actually a pretty ok guy, like I said, we just weren’t at the same stage in life, or looking for the same thing. And I’m cool with divorced guys with kids – mostly because I’m not interested in having any of my own (but generally speaking I don’t mind kids. Sometimes. Maybe.) !!

    Nikki: I agreee with the honesty, and with the ‘Whoa too much kink!’ thing. I guess my issue really was with the timing of the … revelation? Or maybe I’m just disapointed that we’re not really compatable. I am glad I guess that he got it out of the way pretty early. I mean, it would be rough to get involved with someone who you later find out is totally into different things.

    Thoughtsappear: Yeah, I didn’t realise exactly what I was linking to there, until I thought I’d take a closer look at other costumes to see if there was a female alternative… Opps! My parents read this blog! (hence I try to limit the number of times I link to stripper costume supply shops, and pornography in general.)

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