So I brought a tiara today. It was only a few bucks and it seemed like a good idea to throw it into my layby that I paid off… And it’s not like it’s huge or anything. But the problem is, now I have to find an occasion to wear a tiara.
And in the store? I was totally all ‘Oh please, I can think of ten reasons to wear a tiara in the next month, and one of them is Friday.
Only now, I’m sitting here looking at my shiny tiara wondering if perhaps I over estimated? Because I mean, sure, Friday is casual dress at work, but how casual? And I have interviews this friday, so I think if I show up wearing a tiara, my project manager will shut me in the stairwell and refuse to let me out until I’m wearing something corporate.
My other ideas were:
2. Doing my laundry. I thought it would be a good incentive to do my laundry if I could wear a tiara… BUT. When am I going to get a chance to wear my Minnie Mouse ears if I do that? Because they’re currently my laundry day pick.
3. On my birthday. Duh. BUT I’m planning on visiting a petting zoo, and I’m going to have to catch a 5-legged sheep, so that I can have photos with it…. And I’m thinking probably a sheep with five legs is going to be faster than a sheep with four, and I don’t want to lose it while running around a paddock full of sheep shit.
4. The next time I go out for cocktails with Louise. Only We don’t do that very often, because I’m always poor and paying off debt at the moment. (Almost there though! Just another few months!)
5. While walking in a park. Honestly though. I live in a city. Our parks are full of homeless people and rabid students. When was the last time I walked in a park without an armed guard and a tazer?! Never, that’s when.
6. Whilst getting a tattoo. Did I tell you I’ve finalised what I want as a second tattoo? Maybe not. Anyway. I have. So now I’m looking at placement and size. (It only took six years to do it!) So I could wear a tiara while getting that done, only maybe the running away, the sobbing, and the violent fainting at the sight of needles might dislodge it. I probably don’t want to make myself any more memorable to the tattoo artist than I’m already going to be.
7. While looking at open homes. I have developed a new hobby of visiting open homes, and taking a look around. I’m not looking at moving, I just want to get a better idea of what I can afford in a few years time when I start house-hunting for my own home. Anyway. I’ve noticed that it’s pretty damn difficult to be taken seriously by real estate agents when you’re asking questions like “Do you reckon that yard is big enough for a small herd of german shepherds?” I’m thinking it’s probably going to get EVEN HARDER to be taken seriously when I show up wearing a tiara.
8. When baking. BUT. I’m sort of a messy baker. I mean, aprons were pretty much designed with me in mind. That and fire-extinguishers.
9. The next time I go on a first date – only I’m kind of sick of dating at the moment. I want to try a relationship next, and probably showing up with a tiara isn’t going to enhance the ‘relaxed, no drama, low maintanence’ facade that I like to put up around men I want to date.
10. Halloween! Naturally. ONLY I already have a ton of ideas for Halloween, including slutty flapper, slutty pirate, slutty zombie, and slutty Alice in wonderland… (What. It’s Halloween. You can’t get demure costumes at Halloween. I know. I tried last year.) Anyway, none of those ideas really lends itself to the use of a tiara. Unless I go slutty princess zombie?