So I had this weird dream last night. They were standardizing everything at work, on ice skates. So I’m having to learn what words I’m allowed to say, and where I’m allowed to walk, and the way that the organisation has approved to play Ice Hockey. Then I realise this day – of all days, I’ve forgotten to wear a top or a bra. So I’m walking to my desk as fast as I can covering my naked chest, and everyone’s in line watching me, because they’re waiting for their employee dress policy books. Embarrassing!
Everything went downhill from there. I had to play ice hockey, and my ice skates were all wrong, and the coach was totally hot, but all “What in gods name are you doing out there? You’re playing like a crazy woman.” Because no one thought to teach me how to play ice hockey, and I’m not the most team-sport/ athletic type of girl.
Then the freaking serial killer got loose from his shed – here’s an idea: If you have a company serial killer, DON’T cage him in a rusty tin shed full of sharp shit. Or at least remove his weapon before you put him in there.
So that pretty much ruined the ice hockey game. Then I had to find my hotel, and it was ridiculously confusing, and they didn’t give me the right directions to my room, so I’m all wandering through the tiki garden trying to find the danm room, and all these jock dicks were running around stealing other people’s rooms…
It was all just. EXHAUSTING.