The most emo fish in the world.

So. I have this fish. The pet store sold him to me as a paradise fish, but futher research*  tells me he’s a labyrinth fish. He’s used to lurking in rivers and ponds in Asia, and weaving in and out of rice paddies, to descend on unsuspecting minnows and guppies, with single-minded determination to kill. **

* Necessary after he ate 80% of his tank-mates

**Oh. No. Wait, that’s just MY fish.

Anyway. So He’s not really a sociable guy. But he did seem pretty lonely in his tank. I mean. He’d taken to loitering around in a glass jar hidden in his tank being a moody teenager type. We figured it was because (After eating all the other fish) he was now lonely as an only child, so having some larger tank-mates would stimulate him and create some more natural behaviour. (More natural than him sitting in his jar watching our every move in the kitchen with Sociopathic Intensity.)

With that in mind, this weekend I went off and brought a Borneo Sucker Fish, and a plain old goldfish – fast enough to escape from certain death.  I’d done my research, and these guys are both ok tank-mates, and they actually come from the same tank as the pet store keeps the kind of fish my wee serial killer is.

So I brought these two fish, patted a kitten, visited the rats and the bunnies, and then caught a bus home to the city.

Then things got bad. The plastic bag sprung a leak. The Bus broke down. The goldfish developed a nervous twitch. So did I.

The water level in the bag pretty rapidly decreased, so I ended up grabbing a taxi, and RUNNING the last five meters down the path to home, clutching my fish, plugging the hole with my finger, and desperately trying to open the front door with my chin.

Finally I managed to get both the gold fish and the ridiculously fast Sucker Fish into the tank. Then Mac the serial killer got all territorial and serial-killery. At fist he just swum around while the gold fish shivered and twitched in the corner. Then he started looming, and watching from behind carefully placed ornaments and making serial-killer plans. Then he moved on to full frontal ATTACK.

I guess it’s true what they say about it being all fun and games until someone puts a goldfish into a tank with the most emo teenager fish in the world. On the up-side he’s no longer mooching about in his jar, but on the down-side it’s only because he now lives by himself  in a Tupperware container on the kitchen bench.

The goldfish and the suckerfish got custody of the large tank, but I’m not sure they’re placated. I haven’t seen the Suckerfish for two days (He’s taken to hiding in the coral cave) and the Goldfish has developed a nervous twitch, and a preference for sitting motionless in the corner.


One thought on “The most emo fish in the world.

  1. As I was reading, I felt like I was watching “Finding Nemo.” Except the part about your fish being a sociopath. That wasn’t in the movie. But I’m thinking … sequel? *fingers crossed*

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