Dramatic? Me? No. Well. Maybe a little. But it’s a REALLY bad cold.

So I don’t want anyone to say that I’m a hypochondriac or anything… And I definitely don’t mean to alarm anyone (Ok. I do.) But I’m 99% certain that I’m turning into a zombie.

Naturally I wouldn’t make the claim if I couldn’t back it up so here’s my evidence:

1. I speak in grunts and groans now. Because words require brain power, and… uhhhhhhhh

2. My nose has been dripping like a tap since yesterday afternoon, and it could be any number of things, but lets all agree that it’s my youth and vitality. Dripping out of me one disgusting tissue-full at a time.

3. My neck is stiff, and so is my everything else. I walked to the chemist before, and at some point my legs stopped functioning, so I had to drag myself there on my hands and knees, using my forehead, because it was the only bit of my body that I could move without making a pitiful groaning sound.

4. I no longer hunger for real food. All I want is ginger beer  and juice. And carbs. Also M&M’s, and as we all know, that’s just the first step in a long spiral towards bbbbbrrrrrrrraaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnsssss

5. I smell like the undead. Or at least I’m pretty sure I do, my nose isn’t exactly functioning right now, but I’ve been having sweaty hot and cold flushes all night, and I haven’t been awake enough to shower without falling asleep and accidentally drowning myself.

6. The chemist says I just have a cold, but we all know they lie in order to sell $32 packets of Cold medication.

In other news: $32.00?!!! WTF? It’s only four days worth. Who cares that It has the latest and greatest magical fairy dust for numbing my headache. It’s still not even really working. I don’t feel any better. AND she made me buy a nasal spray. Now there’s a sexy concept. No wonder I feel like I have the plague.

the only good thing to come out of this is that my hand-eye coordination is getting better. I manage to land my tissues on my tissue pile 90% of the time now. Mostly because the tissue pile covers roughly 30% of my new room. Oh my god are we using math? I must have a fever. This is how I know it’s the end.

 

Brrrraaaiiinnnss… 

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6 thoughts on “Dramatic? Me? No. Well. Maybe a little. But it’s a REALLY bad cold.

  1. I certainly hope its not Zombies. Flu perhaps? Cold and Flu medicine went down the toilet as soon as you could no longer buy it with pseudoethidreine (Sp?) in it. No matter how awesome they say the alternative is, its not. Not even close! I hope you feel better soon 🙂

  2. The use of math ALWAYS means the end of all things good and wholesome!

    I’m not as bad off as you, but I’m a bit ill with a cold myself. Hope you feel better soon!

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