Upgrading from low-level stalking to an actual conversation

Once upon a time I started a new job, and at that job was a guy who looked a little bit like actually was Detective Ray Curtis from Law and Order. Naturally I jumped online, and promptly stalked him. Not because I was being creepy and trying to google-stalk Detective Ray, but because I didn’t really watch law in Order (ever) and I wasn’t quite sure it was him.

But I’ve decided it totally, without a doubt is him. Or his cousin twice removed.  Either way, I am going to get his signature. Probably I’ll leave it until my last possible day here, so that he won’t feel the need to take out a restraining order.

So, last week I finally managed to end up in the kitchen with Detective Ray. Which was a little awkward, because nobody had formally introduced Detective Ray and I. Nevertheless Detective Ray took the bull by the horns and introduced himself . Which threw me a little bit because he did not introduce himself with his real actual name.

Detective Ray is Cagy. Also suspicious.

He was all: “Hey, we haven’t met, I’m I…..” Which threw me a little bit because everyone Knows Detective Ray’s REAL name is Benjaman. But then I realised that He’s an actor and a Detective, so probably what he’s doing here is work related. Obviously he’s using a fake name because he’s on reconnaissance.

So I was all “Sure. I…... It’s nice to meet you. I’m Agent S. Or Bob. Also, sometimes people call me Steve – but mostly that’s an email thing, because they see my email address which comes up with my last name first.”

Then Detective Ray was all “Ok. Well I’m going to make coffee now, because you’re a little strange.”

After that ground breaking conversation, I thought I’d better leave Detective Ray to it. Everyone knows that detectives don’t like being interrupted when they’re undercover in the work kitchen. “Making” “coffee”.

 

And finally, when I searched Detective Ray on the google, The first page was all topless photos of Detective Ray exiting pools, and photos of detective ray covered in water in thin white shirts, which tells me two things:

FIRST, Detective Ray spent a lot of time damp as a young man.

SECOND for some reason he looks older in person (I assume it’s because of the photoshop), but that’s cool, because he’s still a bit of a silver fox.

Shopped.
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