So this weekend I got a call from the Mother Unit, who launched immediately into this sentence: “So are you going to start this diet with us or not, because I’m going to buy food today, so I can get you some chicken too.”
I was a little confused, because actually we hadn’t previously been in the middle of a conversation about me starting a diet with her. But there you go. When you’re conversing with the Mother Unit – or the Grandmother Unit – you expect these things. They’re masters of unexpected conversational tangents.
So I said yes, and instead of spending my Saturday breaking in my new Yoga DVD, and chasing my cat around with the vacuum cleaner, I drove to foxton to find out what kind of diet I was starting.
It turns out it is a protein diet, apparently. So I’ll be eating a lot of meat and seafood. I have required reading that I need to report back on to the Mother Unit. I can say though, that I’m a little shocked by the lack of vegetables and fruit in this diet, cross referencing confirms that yes, doctors do still recommend Five Plus a day, and day one has exactly NO vegetables. I’m not sure the Mother Unit wants me to employ critical reading skills in this exercise.
We also watched two painful DVD’s narrated by an earnest guy with a thick Australian Accent. I’m not sure I got the full value out of those because I spent a lot of time trying to replicate the way he spoke using phonetic spelling. Duee Vuee Duee. *snort*
In related news, I drank my first protein shake this morning. I think I did it wrong because it was watery, grainy, vaguely chocolate scented, and all-together awful. Unlike the packaging, I don’t quite agree that it’s a suitable meal replacement. I was using it as a snack replacement, and it’s not even really a suitable one of those. It might have been better with sugar, and milk.
Just like I suspect the protein ‘chocolate’ bar I have for afternoon tea would be better with the addition of chocolate.