I’m an awful person.

Once upon a time there was a wicked witch. This wicked, terrible witch lived in the middle of nowhere in a house filled with dead slater bugs, and chicken feathers.

The wicked, terrible, awful witch also lived with a black witches cat called Batz. Batz the cat loved mornings. They were the best part of his day, because Batz the cat loved breakfast. He also loved morning witchy cuddles, and morning playtime.

Unfortunately for Batz the cat, the wicked, terrible, awful, mean witch hated mornings. She hated getting up in the morning, and making breakfast in the morning, and getting dressed, and showering in the morning.

So one morning Baz the cat got a little impatient about how long the wicked, terrible, awful, mean, bad witch was taking to get up. So he tried sitting on her face. When that didn’t work he meowed in her ear. When even that didn’t work he bounced on the bed.

And.

The.

Witch.

Woke.

Up.

The wicked, terrible, awful, mean, bad, scary witch howled, and growled, and hissed. She flung her legs out of bed, and lumbered to her feet. She yelled, and threw things and pulled her witchy hair, and then she chased Batz the witches cat right out the door, and right through the lounge and right out into the front yard where he cowered and hid under the house filled with dead slater bugs and chickens feathers.

The witch sat down on the couch and growled to herself:

I won’t feel bad, and I won’t feel sad,
that stupid cat, is such a rat!

After a few minutes the witch began to feel a little… weird. Usually in the mornings there were witchy cuddles with Batz the witches cat. And usually in the mornings the witch made breakfast for the cat. And usually in the mornings the witch got ready for work with Batz the witches cat would play with her shoelaces, and jump out from behind couches.

Finally the witch admitted to herself that she felt bad about being mean. Se felt wicked, terrible, awful, mean, bad, scary, and very, very, sorry.

Just because I’m scaly, nasty, and green,
doesn’t mean I should be awful, horrible, and mean.
Mornings are no excuse to be such a bad human being!

So the wicked, terrible, awful, mean, bad, scary, sorry witch went outside and spent the next half an hour coaxing Batz the witches cat out from under the house full of dead slater bugs and chicken feathers, just so that she could say sorry, and feel like a terrible person, and be late to work.

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